Life on the road for a CDL truck driver can be pretty complicated. But what about the new boyfriend or girlfriend of a trucker? What’s life like for them when you’re on the road for days or even weeks at a time?
We reached out to our driver community and an expert in the field and asked them what they think about this topic. So when it comes to dating a truck driver, here’s the inside scoop!
Your truck driver is going to be gone for long periods of time. It’s simply part of the reality of the lifestyle that comes with the job. You must start with accepting long-distance as part of your relationship, and of your life once a trucker is a part of it.
Ellen Voie, President and CEO of Women in Trucking Association, says, “When dating a truck driver, the person at home needs to understand first that the driver will be away from home for periods of time. This means missed holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and the inability to RSVP for a wedding, make a dental appointment and so much more. It’s not easy, but it can be rewarding.”
If the relationship moves past just dating a truck driver, into an actual marriage, this reality does not change. Your trucker will still be working hard over the road. And they won’t be at home daily to help keep the house or help with the kids’ homework every night. Being away from home is simply the nature of the job for a trucker. Once you can accept that and make a relationship with a trucker work, then you’re off to a great start.
Once you’ve found a great trucker to date, having a mutual commitment to the relationship will keep it going. Voie says “When I completed my Master’s Theses, ‘The Complex Identities of Women Married to Professional Drivers,’ I learned that the strength of a relationship has nothing to do with time or distance apart.”
Ellen went on to say, “Couples who see each other every day can break up just as easily as those apart. The secret is in the couple’s values. If both of them are determined to have a good relationship, they will both adhere to their values in being truthful with each other, not flirting or straying and not lying. They must be confident in the fact they can trust the partner.”
Working towards similar goals, sharing the same values, and overall having respect for each other is the only way to have a strong relationship. Once all of those pieces are in place, the distance and time apart from each other won’t matter as much.
Trust and Communication
Trust is important in any relationship, but it’s critical when dating a truck driver. While your driver is away, you have to trust in the relationship you’ve built. You have to know and understand that they’re doing the same. Any relationship without trust will probably not last long. Especially with one person in the relationship sleeping away from home for days, if not weeks, at a time.
We talked to Maria Hafner, owner of Confessions of a Truckers Wife, and she said, “The most important thing you need is trust and communication, without this you cannot date a truck driver. Life is lonely and solitary, so you do carry a bigger broader responsibility on your shoulders and if you can’t handle it, don’t try it.”
When there’s trust and good communication, you’ll probably find aligned values and that makes it easy to stay the course and and continue the relationship.
Another other great pieces of advice for someone dating a truck driver, is to do what you can to show that you support your trucker. They have a very high stress job, and being away from home is not easy for them either. Show your support!
We spoke with another wife of a truck driver, Crystal, and she shared, “Another thing is to be super supportive! I have realized that they are by themselves in a tiny box just driving and really have no one to talk or interact with so your support means more to them than you think!”
If you’ve been in relationship with a truck driver, what’s your best piece of advice? Or what’s the best story you have to tell about dating a truck driver? Head on over to our Facebook page and let us know what you think.